Survival Story

It felt like an unusually warm morning for mid november and the was a strong rotten smell coming from the drains, probably was one of the old stews my wife saves up then ends up throwing it away. I walked up to my garage to drive up to pete’s; he’s the local butcher and i’m bringing him a load of apples to feed the cattle. Driving along the motorway; windows down, blasting “Sympathy For The Devil” out of the speakers when i began to notice the completely empty motorway ahead for miles which i would want to let the engine go at full pelt; not remembering that i had a ten ton load of apples in the back.

I arrived at pete’s and something didn’t seem right; there was no one to collect there ten ton load of apples he ordered. I walked out of my truck to the front door to find about ten people not looking in the best of health banging and knocking against pete’s house. “Hey have any of you seen pete, i’ve got his de-”                                                                             and before I could finish my sentence all ten people simultaneously turned to face me and started groaning as if i took a sweet from a child; at this moment i knew something was not right.

I turned around to get back into my truck to find a few more of them “things” who must of snuck up on me blocking my path to my truck. They were inching closer and i knew i didn’t have long before they would get to me so I dodged to the right to find no path leading round to my truck. I needed to think fast, which was impossible, so I decided to skirt along the house and enter from the back. I opened and previously smashed window and let myself in to find pete’s gut spilled out over the floor being eaten by his daughter; no turning back now.


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One response to “Survival Story”

  1. jnorth Avatar
    jnorth

    Hello,

    Your second and third paragraph really help to give this piece shape. The tension builds fairly effectively and I think your ideas are original.

    Consider:
    Look against your first paragraph. Your sentence structures really need to be tightened and there is some repetition that would really benefit from editing. Some of this is typo, but you must write a plan before you begin.

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